Trail Wanderings

Just spent the last two hours exploring/wandering around the trails here in my neighborhood. I had never ventured out to explore them before. Not sure why--because the entry point is literally at the end of my driveway!  A lot of the trail followed and crossed back and forth over the natural creek bed. I've known we've had a number of large ponds, but until today had only seen one (near the main road). Today I saw all three. Someone has put wooden park benches and log benches along the length of the trail at appropriate places. It's a really nice woodsy trail for a neighborhood. I'm not sure what the official off point is (unfortunately it's not a loop) so I still need to back and figure that out...

When I left my house I had planned to just walk on the main road-oh maybe be out 30-45 minutes, but then when I hit the end of my driveway (100 feet?), I made a spontaneous decision to try out the trail. I popped my mp3 player in my ears, turned on my Lent playlist and let the Lord lead me. I really spent the time trying to come to terms with the emotions that are going on inside of me. Frustration, anger, fear, insecurity, confusion, hope, peace, longing, desire, impatience etc... Many of the songs on my Lent playlist gave words to the mumblings and ramblings of my heart often inducing tears. But the songs also spoke God's truth into my hurt and reminded me that I am not alone. I don't have it figured out, I am still not completely yielded. Still angry, still hurt, still insecure, still longing, still impatient. But God met me and heard my cries. How sweet it is to just be heard. With God, I can rant and rave and He's never offended, befuddled, or confused by my anger or tears. He doesn't withdraw, back-off or leave. He knows, he understands, he loves and enters into my hurt and grieves with me. He's my refuge. That is my comfort.

I am tired and spent. I just want to crawl back in bed and sleep the day away (it's cold and gloomy outside). But I will resist. I'll bump up the thermostat, warm up some soup, take a 25 minute nap and then hit the books (Pharmacology exam #2 has to be taken next week).