Haiti

My first reaction when I heard about the earthquake in Haiti was "What about the Robinsons?" Then I quickly jotted an email to our missions staff to find out if they'd heard anything about this missionary couple who have been there for years--involved in engineering/building projects. My second reaction was to wish I could go and help with the clean up. Wish I had the medical skills they are so desperate for. Wish I had the freedom to just up and leave.

But my time has not yet come. I can't get away because I've just started another semester of classes--part of the path that I am taking to become an RN. Also a full-time job that while I'm sure they'd let me go...it would be tough to fill the gaps while I'm gone.

Lord willing in 3-4 years I will be trained as a nurse and potentially able to hop on a plane (with organized group) to participate in relief efforts. At least that's what I hope for. If I was married with kids, probably not an option. But at this point in my life, single and no children, I want to use my freedom in ways others cannot.

I think that heading into Haiti right now is for the mentally tough and experienced--those with little or no experience in the developing world may be completely overwhelmed and unable to emotionally deal with the mass obliteration of a city. The sheer numbers of displaced survivors needing basic provisions of medical attention, food/water, and shelter is so unfathomable. And then to consider the recovery efforts of those trapped and the dead bodies that have to be dealt with. The emotional affects on workers--their own difficulty in dealing with the large-scale of suffering, possibly feeling frustrated that they don't have the supplies needed to do their job.

I recall the panic with New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina and the mass confusion and lack of communication and coordination in those early days...how much worse in Haiti when the functionality of the capital city is simply brought to a grinding halt. Everything goes in/out of PaP--therefore those outside the capital will feel a different type of after-shock: potential abandonment of current NGO work (including medical facilities), and lack of supplies (food etc) reaching the rural areas...and of course the cost of everything will go up for lack of supply. All Haitians will be affected.

There are people already tasked with seeing to the immediate, basic needs of Haiti. And there are already teams of people talking about how to deal with things 2 weeks out, 4 weeks out, 2 months out, etc. I am grateful for those who thrive on response and implementation. I'm grateful I'm not in charge. I wish I could be there--to take orders and to play my part. my role. But alas it is not my time.

Tonight on the CBS special edition, I watched a US neurologist (perhaps surgeon) examining a infant--possibly a newborn (weeks old). The baby had a laceration on her head and there was concern that maybe she had a skull-fracture. The neuro-Dr. simply had to use his observational and interview skills to learn about the baby--he had no special lab or MRI or CAT scan lab to run tests on this baby. He was back to using his training in rudimentary diagnosis to be able to properly care and treat this baby. This inspired me to stop looking at these prerequisites as classes to rush through so I can start REAL nursing classes. These classes have purpose and are foundational. The Developmental Psychology class material that I'm reading through now--about reflexes, movement, coordination for motor and cognitive skills etc... are all part of the observations that the doctor used to examine that baby in PaP.

I am eager to hear what the response will be from my church. I'd love to jump on a plane if a team goes...although summer might be my only option. Now is not my time. I've got things to learn, to do and be tested on. They are not a means to a end...but rather they are what will qualify me later. They will shape me into a knowledgeable, compassionate nurse.

Now. I simply pray for God to be merciful to the Haitian people. That in the midst of the chaos, people will flock to churches to be reminded of the hope we have in Christ. Suffering happens and it's hard to comprehend why God allows it. But the suffering does not have to overwhelm or undo us. It can and must drive us to the one who suffered the ultimate. Who knows our hurt, our grief, our pain, the anger, and the hopelessness we can't seem to shake. He is our only hope. He's the rock we can confidently cling to.

Lord have mercy.

The Robinson's, I learned, are okay. They live/work five hours outside the capital. They felt the earthquake and an aftershock. The seminary they work with in PaP was destroyed and it's likely that some of the students died (as classes were in session). Also our missions coordinator at the church, her roommate was in PaP doing short-term mission work. Her fiance got a brief call from her (literally only seconds) to know that she's alive. Another gal, an acquaintance and a friend of a friend, was also there. Possibly part of the same team. I think I heard that both of them are on their way home tonight.