I'm already behind in my readings as we enter the third week of classes. Last year, on average, we had one unit per week and had a quiz almost every week (except on testing days). This semester we have fewer units and instructors might take three to four weeks to cover a unit. We'll have one quiz per one or two units, but we don't have quizzes every week like we did last year. Last year when there was a quiz involved, I definitely was on target with my readings... however, this semester I'm already behind in my readings. Why? Well I don't have that weekly quiz deadline to keep me on track...plus I've had other stuff going on (wedding mostly) that has had me distracted. But really it's a motivation/self-discipline deficiency that I need to get a handle on. I really NEED to come to terms with the fact that THIS is most important. There is little else that takes priority over school right now. Not the gym, not weight loss, not laundry or dirty dishes, not checking Facebook (!), not my favorite TV show, not grocery shopping, not reading, not journaling, not BLOGGING (!) etc... It's pretty pathetic that I'd procrastinate by cleaning my toilet! I think it's more an emotional hurdle that's going to require dying to self and letting go of my resentment that after 100 days of summer, my time is not my own for the next 249 days. THIS is my work, whether I like it or not. Don't get me wrong. I'm enjoying nursing...but not the school part.
I despise doing assigned text book readings. I do well for the first three pages and then I start to get sleepy/distracted (um, like now!)...and then end up having to reread the same paragraph five times. I am a procrastinator too, which does not help. So not only am I not motivated or self-disciplined to do my readings...I wait until the evening when I'm tired! ugh. I need to get turned around and on the right track QUICKLY. Perhaps I need to start viewing my reading/study time like I do my gym time...and just GET IT DONE.
The wedding is the weekend, so I will have no excuses. The library on campus sucks (it's busy and usually all study rooms and cubbies are full), so the alternative is to go to the local library or to Panera. Panera's not great b/c I'd feel obligated to spend money (and eat food I shouldn't). The library branch near me is next door to my gym, so I really have no excuse. The only thing is that on clinical days, I wake early, am gone all day and then head to gym before heading home. So if I were to leave gym and go to library, I'd have to figure out how to pack (& heat) dinner --in addition to lunch/snacks for clinical. Sigh. Not sure it's sane to try. But I'm thinking at the very least I should attempt to try the library for Thursday afternoons and on Friday/Saturday.
After the wedding, I'm supposed to start back working for the artist on Friday mornings (provided she hasn't changed her mind about me staying on). I need the money, but school is a priority. Hopefully I can get this schedule/study dance figured out soon.
At least I got my substance abuse support group visit out of the way. I attended an AA meeting less than three minutes from my house one evening last week. It was a really great experience - although a few awkward moments for me when they went around the room and did the "Hi my name is... and I'm an alcoholic". What am I to say? Um, my name is Joy, and I've probably only had only two dozen alcoholic drinks in my lifetime - aside from communion wine. No, I didn't say that... basically I mumbled that I was a nursing student. Anyways, I survived and they they were pleasant/gracious - despite me feeling like I was crashing their meeting. I will say that it was encouraging to see that participation and discussion by group attenders was high. Now I just need to do a write-up about my feelings about my experience (and answer other non-meeting questions related to substance abuse and support groups).
Well, I think I've procrastinated long enough that it's time for bed. Tomorrow is Labor Day and I'm going to have to do some heavy laboring in my textbooks tomorrow. I think I'm going to have to turn my computer completely off - Facebook is just too much of a temptation.
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