Next Thursday it all begins. Not nervous yet. But it's kinda like a first date. Only excitement and hopefulness in weeks or days leading up to it...but as the days approach irrational fears kick in and nervousness ensues. What am I doing? Am I cut out for this? Will I survive? Do I have what it takes? Have I just signed myself up for another 2 years of being single?
The fears jump out when I least expect them and I have to talk myself down with "Think about it, Joy. There are thousands who have gone before and survived! There are those who survive the program while managing their families. You are smart, tough and determined...You too can make it!" Then I pray and ask the Lord for peace and grace and faith. He has not lead me into this to abandon me. So after 60 seconds of crazy heart-palpitating nervousness...the peace comes. I expect I'll be having more and more of these moments over the next six days. Once classes start and I have a sense of how things will be...I will be okay. It's the Type A in me that wants to know how it will all go down before it goes down! ha.
I noticed we've been given online (Blackboard) access to our NUR 108 class already. Have I gone and peaked? Nope. Normally I am waiting--practically holding my breath while waiting for online access to our class...so curious. But not this time. Thankfully I've been distracted this past week with adventures in DC, so while I got an email that I had access...I just ignored. I better take a peak tomorrow--to see what I'm not aware of. They did send us a snail mail letter with all sorts of readings for our first day of Skills Lab (Thursday) and lecture (Friday)... but I have yet to buy my books. Such a slacker! Actually I've been waiting for my scholarship monies to be made available to the bookstore. I was hoping to buy books this past Monday when I was on campus (taking ITE 118 credit-by-exam), but the line was like 40 people long! Now I remember why I've bought my books online up until now! But with my scholarship it's preferred that we buy our books from the campus bookstore. No big deal, just less convenient (and more expensive!)
Work is over! I'm giddy to contemplate what it will mean to have those 40 hours a week to spread around to other necessary activities. Running/going to gym (school's) again! Yay! Join a Group Bible study again! Cooking more! And of course more time to study and practice my nursing skills. AND, Lord willing, maybe find room to date or at least spend more time with my friends.
I just got home from spending most of the week in DC with a new friend, but today before I left town I drove up to the National Health and Medicine Museum located at the Walter Reed Army Medical Center. It was nice to just lazily walk around and see what they have there (they are preparing to move it to another location). One of their ongoing exhibits is "From a Single Cell" which provides some unique views of teeny tiny babies who are just a few weeks old in-utero (but did not survive for some reason). They also showed the Discover Channel's 50 minute DVD "Conception to Birth" where they followed nine women through various parts of pregnancy and birth (and death). I think there were about four women that they actually showed laboring and birthing (non-graphic)...I shed a few tears and gulped back a couple sobs as the babies popped out. Just so amazing and beautiful. All too poignant as my friend Rebecca just birthed her second daughter while I was in DC! :0)
Well, I better get to bed. Hope to do some mass cooking tomorrow, see the new baby and perhaps pick up textbooks if the bookstore is open. And if I'm feeling on-the-ball...maybe I'll even get some reading done for school. hmmm?
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