Things are crazy right now, that's why I haven't posted lately. Written assignments, tests and more written assignments are keeping me busy. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Only two med-surg clinical days left. Actually, I should say, two clinical PREP days left -one of which is tomorrow. Prep days are the worse. Caring for patients...so much more enjoyable then prepping for them. Last week I was assigned two patients. The prep was ugly and I got about an hour of sleep. Not fun. Not right. But it's over. Or so we thought. Everyone in my clinical has been assigned two patients (half one week, half the other). Last week my clinical instructor told us she'd be randomly assigning double patients to some of us (again). NONE of us want it the first time, because NONE of us want the extra paperwork and the sleep deprivation and the repercussions of no sleep that continue to affect us (or at least me) even two days later. The stupid part about all of this is... that having two patients was apparently not required, but my clinical instructor REQUIRED it. And we were also told that our two patients would be non-complicated. Yeh, right. I'm on a cardio-thoracic post-surgical floor. Of course they are going to be complicated! The course coordinator even told her clinical group to let her know if they wanted two patients and doesn't seem like she will be requiring her group to do two patients. Well, I'm pretty sure our clinical group is NOT the envy of anyone else. It sucks. Last week, caring for two patients wasn't a big deal and even having to give meds for one of them wasn't a big deal...but doing the prep just made me want to shout obscenities and to whine and complain. But I didn't. I sucked it up and was a big girl -- despite wanting to complain endlessly. But if I get assigned two patients tomorrow, I think I might just have to go to my clinical instructor and say, "I'm sorry, I respectfully decline. I simply cannot have another night of no sleep. Last week's sleep deprivation made it difficult to prepare adequately for my other classes and do my other classwork. Two patients are not being required of any other clinical groups, and if it looks poorly on me that I'm requesting to prep for only one patient, then so be it. There's also the "do no harm" aspect. I'm not sure I can properly care for my patients on one hour of sleep." Thank you very much.
Don't get me wrong. I am NOT trying to wiggle of extra clinical work. I don't mind caring for two patients. It is all about losing sleep b/c I'm up prepping for two patients. I have learned so much from my clinical instructor this semester. She really knows her stuff...and that's what I WANT in a clinical instructor. But requiring us to do extra when none of the other clinical groups are being required, really is unfair. And not right. Those folks are more rested going into clinical. They have the energy to do homework and prepare for lecture the next day, they might even go to the gym. On Tuesdays I get up about 5:30, get my crap together and go to the gym before lecture...then I'm up all night prepping...then head to clinical with maybe an hour of sleep. I am wasted come 2:30 when we leave clinical. Let's see, how many hours have I been up? Maybe 33 hours with one hour of shut-eye. Who can manage to go read a text book after that? Mercy. I end up crashing for a couple hours, then get up and evaluate my careplans and meds and do self-evaluation of my day for a few hours...and then back to bed. Last week I even slept through my alarm for my Thursday morning aquatic class. Boo!
So needless to say, I'm not going to be happy if she assigns me two patients tomorrow. And it will take everything within me to not go to her and attempt to decline. I really wonder what her response would be if I ask her to only assign one patient. The struggle is that I actually LIKE this unit (compared to my other clinical experiences) and might consider applying to work there and in that case, it would only make sense that I ask her to be a reference. But I'm completely TORN. How can I decline second patient and still maintain my clinical instructors "respect" to get a good recommendation/reference - at least as much as is possible for a nursing student.
Tomorrow I will get last week's paperwork returned, so we'll see by her grading if she's ticked off at those of us who followed the course coordinator's instructions for prepping for second patient). Last week she wasn't particularly happy with us -- but perhaps she's since gone back to the coordinator to get clarification. If had done as she'd asked, I'd still not have finished-and would not have gotten that one hour of "sleep".
Tomorrow will be a long day regardless of whether I'm assigned two patients or not. I'm considering skipping my aquatic class to go vote. Otherwise I have to get up extra early to vote. Sigh.
In good news... I got a 98 on my my most recent test. I have no idea how that happened. Honestly did not even hope for that. I was hoping for low A, high B.
So the REALLY good news is, that I only have to survive Med-Surg clinical prep and clinical this week and next and then that will be over. I only have two Psych clinicals left (last one is the Monday before Thanksgiving). It's always REALLY nice to have clinicals done and to be able to focus on studying for Test 3 and Final Exams. Getting close.
One last gripe. Typically on the last clinical day of the semester, each clinical group with their instructors will head out early and go out to eat for lunch. It's been this way for every clinical I've had. However when we mentioned this to my Med-Surg clinical instructor (who is a first-time clinical instructor for my program) did not seem like she was aware of this tradition or else does not support this. It was like she plans for our last clinical day to be like every other clinical day. She said we could possibly bring lunch to the unit. Um, yeh. NOT! Are you kidding me? I think she was more concerned with the fact that she is planning to work the 3-11 shift AFTER our clinical. In my head, I'm thinking, "um, this is NOT about you...it's about us, about celebrating survival of another clinical semester! It's about being social and enjoying spending time outside the clinical setting." She graduated from our nursing program about 5-7 years ago, you'd think she'd remember what it was like? I dunno. I think there's some pride issues going on and a desire to prove how bad-ass she is. It doesn't help that she's a clinical instructor for us on the same unit that she works everyday (although in other ways that IS a benefit!) I really wish she'd let down her hair, so that we aren't always pulling out our hair.
Okay, enough said.
Probably said too much.
But I'm venting.
You get that, right?
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